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Funny Friday: Handyman

Funny Friday: Handyman

With Thanksgiving just over and our tummies full we can all be grateful for so much.  We have covered a lot about handyman stuff and maintenance in this blog this year and we hope we have helped you. Never forget you can always save money at Home Depot with a Home Depot Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupon. We hope that makes you smile and in the meantime have a giggle at these handyman and maintenance jokes

Stairs

I asked my handyman why did he paint my staircase white

He was indeed puzzled. The only thing I got from him is a blank stair

Doors

The handyman asked when he should come fix the hinges

I said anytime. The door's always open.

Instructions

A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls.

The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day.

 

Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day.

 

The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: “For best results, put on two coats.”

Blonde Handywoman

A blonde woman decides to start a handyman service to make some extra money.

She walks around a wealthy neighborhood and walks up to the first house.

 

A man answers the door and she asks if there is anything she can do. He tells her "The porch need painted, how much would that cost?"

 

She replies "How does $50 sound?" He agrees and she gets to work.

 

When the man goes back into his house his wife asks him "Does she know the porch wraps around the house?" He tells her "She has to, she saw it."

 

About an hour later she comes to the door to collect her money. She says "I had extra paint so I put on two coats." The man is really impressed and gives her the money. She thanks him and says "And by the way, it's a BMW, not a porch."

Thieving Handyman

Henry would have recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house

There was a man named Henry who would having recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house. While the nightmare would always end with the burglar failing to enter, Henry still feared that this could be an omen. Every morning after checking for signs of a break in and finding none, he would add a new and complex lock to his door. All his neighbors called him crazy and paranoid, but he was convinced that if he was not cautious, his dream could one day come to fruition.

 

One day, Henry was about to leave to work, but as he’s walking out, realizes that one of the locks on his door is faulty. He starts to freak out and get nervous that it being faulty will allow someone to get in. While in a panicked rush, he hears someone call out, “Need some help?”, and looks up to see a handyman with a tool box walking past his house. He tells the man of the situation, shows him the lock, and asks if he would be able fix it while he’s away at work. The handyman generously accepts and Henry thanks him and heads off on his way.

 

After a long day at work he gets off at around 6 pm, opens his front door, and finds that everything in his house is gone except a single note left by the handymen which read, “Thanks for leaving the door open for me. Those pesky locks have been giving me issues all week! P.S. I fixed your door.”

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